Skills

VIDEO: AVERY THE HULA HOOP QUEEN

Curtain Hide-And-Go-Seek

Go Angels!

Nothing like spending an hour getting ready for work, thinking you look good, and then having your four-year-old humble you right before you go out the door.

Avery: Mom! Your brace looks like a glub!

Me: A glove?

Avery: Yeah! It looks like a glub from Angel Stadium!

What I [wrongfully] assumed everyone sees:

What Avery sees:

A Fairy Tale

Once upon a time there was a beautiful young princess. The princess lived in a castle that was filled with lots of fun and amazing toys. Toys in every room.  Toys that played beautiful music. Toys that sparkled. Toys that were big, and toys that were small like jewels.  The princess had everything that her heart desired. 

But the princess was a jealous princess.  A prince had recently come to live in the castle with the princess, and the princess did not enjoy having to share her belongings. 

One day, the handsome prince was wandering through the castle.  He spotted a treasure way up high on a shelf. Just as the queen helped him up to retrieve the treasure he had discovered, the princess whisked by and snapped the treasure from his hands. 

The queen was angry. She longed for the princess to be a polite and proper girl; a respectable heiress and a fitting future queen. The queen spent many hours teaching the princess to be kind and good, but the princess could not control her anger when the prince was near her treasures.

The queen snatched the treasure back from the princess, and returned it to the prince, for he had discovered the treasure first, and it rightfully belonged to him.  The queen scolded the princess for being so cold and cruel to the sweet prince, and reminded the princess that she didn't need the treasure, as she had a whole palace full of beautiful and marvelous toys.

The princess could not bear to hear such harsh words, and disintegrated into a loud and lengthy tantrum. She kicked and screamed and wailed, as the prince held onto the treasure. 

Soon the king entered the room.  He saw that the princess had been unkind. He tried to speak to her and teach her about being generous and charitable. To be sweet and loving. But alas, the princess would not hear of it. She wailed and wailed on the floor of the castle. Finally the queen and king had to close the door, because they could not hear anything above her screams. 

Finally, a long while later, the princess emerged and alerted the queen that the crying spell was over. The king and queen were so happy, and quiet peace filled the land. 

The king and queen much enjoyed this quiet peace, as they know it would last only a short while, and then the spell would be broken.

The Princess:

The Prince:

The Treasure:

THE END

The moral of the story is: 

The queen was unsure how her life became refereeing fights over actual pieces of garbage.

Good Morning

It's 7:30 am and there's a T-rex wearing a play-doh hat and mittens on my dining room table.  Totally normal.

Averyisms Part 2

I went in to Avery's room this morning to turn off her nightlight, and found this little scene:

I couldn't help but laugh! So I thought I would share it, along with some of her newest words and conversations, which I have been compiling for the past seven months or so.

In case you don't remember, a couple years back I posted Averyisms Part 1... 

CLICK HERE for a refresher...

Since then, Avery has grown immensely in her verbal skills, and most of the time we find ourselves laughing simply because she speaks so well, she is like a tiny adult. 

But with new vocabulary also comes new logic. Toss in an expanding 4-year-old imagination, and the result is often pretty hysterical.

Avery's Word / Definition:

Skabetty / Spaghetti (yup, still on the list. Hope it never leaves!)

Bless you-ed / Sneezed

Fridger-fridger / Refrigerator

YoubTube / YouTube

Clo / One item of clothing, singular for "clothes"

Fifty noodle wind / "Drifting through the wind," lyrics from the Katy Perry song "Firework"

Bailing suit / Bathing suit

Hamber / Hammer

Wollypop / Lollipop

Brathroom / Bathroom

Tom the Terry / Tom and Jerry

Yo Bobba Gabba / Yo Gabba Gabba

Lunch pal / Lunch pail

Stirring my broom / Stirring my brew

Lost Berry Farm / Knott's Berry Farm

Oatmilk / Oatmeal

I misted you / I missed you

Barrow feet / Bare feet

Big bad woof / Big bad wolf

Chickmunk / Chipmunk

Glubs / Gloves

Nake-up / Make-up

March 2013: LOUDLY in an airport bathroom... 

"Daddy, why do you pee with your tail?"

April 2013: After being taught the correct names for genitalia...

"Daddy, Mommy says you have a peanut like brother."

July 2013: While putting her to bed...

Me: Goodnight

Avery: Don't call me 'Honey.' I'm a kitty.

July 27, 2013: While watching "Shrek," during the part where Fiona is an ogre and not a human...

"I like Princess Fiona. But she's a yogurt right now."

July 28, 2013: We let her play with a 9-year-old girl from down the street named Esther.  Josh had to keep interrupting their playtime and correcting Avery, who kept calling her "Buster."

August 2013: While putting her to bed...

Me: Goodnight Avery. Mommy is so proud of you. You were such a good swimmer at swim lessons today.

Avery: I'm a good meower too.

August 2013: Pointing to a scratch on her foot... 

"Mom, I have a little 'damn it' on my foot."

August 17, 2013: In the car on the way to swim lessons...

Avery: MOM! This is not the way to my swimming lessons!

Me: It's not?

Avery: No! We're going the wrong way!

Me: Oh, we are? Well which way should I go?

Avery: That way! (Points right)

Me: Ok. I'll turn around at the next light. I guess we're lost.

....(Avery sees the building on the corner)

Avery: Oh! I think we ARE going the right way! There's my swim lessons!

Me: Oh, we are? Is this the right way?

Avery: YES! See? I TOLD you!

August 21, 2013:
Me: What do you think brother wants for his birthday?
Avery: I think he wants a dog house.

Me: A dog house?

Avery: Yeah.

Me: Why do you think he wants a dog house?

Avery: He's been talking about how he wants a dog house.

Me: Avery, what would we do with a dog house? We don't even have a dog!

Avery: Put brother in it.

September 1, 2013: As I was taking something out of the microwave...

Me: Watch out, this is hot Avery.

Avery: Mom, you need one of these puppets! (Gets out oven mitt)

September 15, 2013: To my cousin Beth upon leaving her bridal shower... 

"Beth, I'm leaving. You can cry now."

September 17, 2013: To me...

"You're not the police. You're a mom."

October 14, 2013: While trying to find a show for her to watch on the DVR...

Me: Avery, we have a new Bubble Guppies episode!

Avery: Which one?

Me: It's a ballet episode! It's about ballet.

Avery: But they need legs. They only have tails. They can't do passe! (As she did a perfect passe and shook her head at me in exasperation).

October 26, 2013: I was singing along in the car to the Bruno Mars song, "When I Was Your Man," and didn't even think Avery was listening...

Me: My pride, my ego, my needs and my selfish ways / Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life / Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made -"

Avery: YES, we DO have to clean up our mess.

October 27, 2013:

Josh: Avery, your hair is a mess.

Avery: I know, Daddy. I know that. I keep it like this.

November 18, 2013:

Me: What did you have for lunch at school today?

Avery: Mac and cheese, beans, and bread.... But I didn't eat the beans because I wasn't very sure about the school's beans.

December 8, 2013: On her birthday, upon realizing that she is older... 

"Oh no, I'm four now... That means I can't fit through the cat door anymore."

(She was kind of happy when she found out that in fact she does still fit through the cat door).

December 20, 2013: We were listening to her "Pinkalicious" book on CD in the car. When it ended... 

Avery: I wish we could listen to that again.

Me: Ok. (Started the CD over... It comes on)

Avery: Ugh, this AGAIN? Why do we have to listen to this OVER and OVER?

Me: ?!?! You just asked me to put it on again?!

Avery: Oh.

December 20, 2013: Avery brought me some toy jewelry in a box and told me to pick something out of the treasure box. I picked out an orange headband. 

"No, not that. That's not cute, it's just orange."

December 28, 2013: I let Avery take Camden's new Barney doll with her to bed. It plays music when it is squeezed, so I told her I didn't want to hear any music being played or I would take it away because I wanted her to sleep. She burst into our room at 5:50 am and woke us up, whimpering, "I didn't mean to make Barney play the song. I rolled over on him on accident."

That same morning, Josh let me sleep in a little bit and took the kids downstairs. Shortly before 7:00, Avery came in again and stood next to my face breathing on me until I startled awake. I asked her what was wrong, and she whined, "Daddy won't let me play with the Bubble Guppies toy because he says it makes too much noise and it will wake you up." Wow, thanks for waking me up to tell me that.

December 30, 2013: While eating dinner... 

"There's something in my mouth I don't like.... It's a pea."

All year long: If asked to wash her hands or do some other thing she doesn't want to do at that moment... 

"UUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH You're making me do TOO MUCH HOMEWORK."

Love this little nut!